Journey to Clarity: 4 Years of Living Alcohol-Free
In 2017, I was in a toxic relationship…
…with alcohol.
I was in my last year of law school, balancing my studies, internships, and maintaining some semblance of a personal life as a 20-something-year-old living in DC. It was a season where I thrived on the daily grind, powering my schedule with cups of coffee and wine.
Law school had this funny way of normalizing alcohol. We were busy, stressed, and our limited social activities (usually disguised as networking opportunities) were full of cocktails. Law school was about working hard and playing even harder when we had the chance.
After a long night of studying, I would return to my apartment, curl up on the couch, and unwind with a glass of wine. It was my Olivia Pope-inspired recipe for relaxation and while it got me through graduation, things changed when I started working full-time.
I started to get curious about living an alcohol-free life, but was worried about making any changes working in an industry where everything centered around alcohol.
My body never really liked alcohol, but I thought it was an essential part of participating in social events. I grew up in a family where every occasion was celebrated with alcohol and couldn’t imagine there could be a reality in which I could opt out.
But two truths started to make it clear that my days of drinking were limited.
First, hangovers were starting to get unbearable as I got older. I thought to myself, “If hangovers are this bad at 25, imagine how bad it’ll be at 30, 35, or 40 years old.” I did not love alcohol enough to keep dealing with the consequences in the morning.
Second, I had committed more deeply to my spiritual practice with morning prayers, journaling, and meditation. Suddenly, alcohol felt like it was holding me back in my spiritual hygiene and I noticed how it disconnected me from my intuition.
At first, my ego resisted with “You don’t even drink that much” or “You think you’ll enjoy living in Miami without alcohol” or “What will you do at happy hour or family events?”
But my heart knew this decision would only make me more…me.
So on December 31, 2019, I had my last alcoholic drink and my life changed in ways that I could have never imagined.
I no longer have “drinking friends,” which means my relationships have grown to be more honest, nourishing, and fulfilling. It turned out that people who loved spending time with me didn’t care whether it was sober or not.
I wake up after social events with the absolute peace of mind that I will not be met with the piercing headache of a hangover.
I have built a much deeper trust, knowing, and intimate relationship with my intuition. Once I started my alcohol-free journey, I realized how much alcohol would numb my intuition and desensitize me to my surroundings. I am a much stronger channel and healer because I decided to stop drinking.
Since Saturn moved into Pisces in March 2023, sober curiosity has exploded in our society. In sharp contrast to the binge drinking culture of the early 2000s, the practice of limiting drinks to certain days, taking months off drinking, and ordering a mocktail at a restaurant has become commonplace in the last year.
On this New Moon in Pisces, which is exact at 4:59 am CT, we are called to reflect more deeply on what we use to intoxicate ourselves. It’s less about the substance or habit and more about our desire to use it as a tool to escape reality. For some, it might be shopping, emotional eating, playing video games, or binge-watching TV.
Deep within, we know we are prisoners to the habits and substances that do not serve us. So when we feel the inner calling to free ourselves, we must answer the call. We must choose to reclaim our power.
I don’t believe an alcohol-free life is the answer for everyone, but I do believe we all have ways of abandoning ourselves. What is your kryptonite?
Reflect on the energy of this transit with the following journal questions:
Where are you enabling yourself to live in illusion or delusion?
How can you bring more honesty to your relationship with yourself?
Are there any habits that enable you to escape yourself? How can you engage with them more mindfully?